Tuesday, September 27, 2005

MISUNDERSTANDING...THE ROOT CAUSE


Why do people always misunderstand? This question crosses my mind way too often. Is it because of lack of information? Or is it because of too much unwanted information? Whatever may be the cause...please say it out...it makes things easier, rather than pondering over it. I'm sure many become victims of this, so making this sincere effort of pulling people away from this whirlpool. All I would want to quote is:

"To understand a misunderstanding is an understanding in friendship;
But to have no misunderstanding is the most understood friendship."

11 Comments:

Blogger Aditya said...

If it is misunderstanding in friendship you are talking about, there is nothing called "unwanted information".

It has to be miscommunication. And the only way a misunderstanding or miscommunication can be resolved is that both sides of the coin proactively involve in the resolution.

12:54 PM, September 27, 2005  
Blogger kavin said...

Well said...I guess the only way we can avoid the miscommunication is by communicating more and clear the misunderstandings..

2:25 PM, September 27, 2005  
Blogger SAL said...

Thats what I'm trying to put fwd...
"Say it" & "Dont avoid it"

3:30 PM, September 27, 2005  
Blogger Aditya said...

Everyone wants to say it. No one would want to avoid it. It takes time. Trust is the key. There is no secret in anyones life. Every one has problems. The only difference is how they face it.

I have quoted numerously and I think it is most apt here and it goes "Its better to be trusted than liked".

It may take years to develop trust. And all one can do is try, wait and hope. Friendship doesnt come easy, trust doesn't come easy. Neither can be sped up.

5:43 PM, September 27, 2005  
Blogger Kiran GL said...

I feel best thing to do is, when in doubt, to state what u assume is obvious r the other person understands. I have found it helpful to just state it and have the other person just nod. it is btr to put up with a few nods than not to get the point across.

1:57 PM, September 29, 2005  
Blogger Kaushal said...

This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.

12:25 AM, September 30, 2005  
Blogger Kaushal said...

But, I guess sometimes communication also causes misunderstandings, if it's not conveyed properly and you could end up things messing up more. So it's better not told!

12:27 AM, September 30, 2005  
Blogger Aditya said...

Well, again it rolls back to the question about communication with whom. Is it with a friend, an acquintaince, or is it professional?

Its different with all 3 cases. The only common fact is the need to communicate.
Professionally, communication is mostly need based.

When I talk about friendships, friendships that I want to treasure for life, there is nothing about things getting messed up. If the other person is indeed my friend, he/she will hold on to me as much as I would.

Friendships are not always rosy. I have had friends who I have fought with on very serious issues (which ideally I would not bring up with everyone as it would "MESS" things up)on a regular basis. It could be as simple as a difference of opinion or even a mundane argument. At the end of the day we know that our friendship is beyond everything. We may not talk for a few days, not see eye to eye for a few days, but it all comes back sooner or later.

Everything I say or do, may not necessarily be liked by my friend. That does not stop me for telling him/her anything with the fear that it could be misunderstood. Thats how TRUST develops. Thats how one gets to KNOW a friend. Only with such a person can I take such liberty for expression.

12:24 PM, September 30, 2005  
Blogger SAL said...

I think you should say it, than not saying it at all. Atleast the other person knows wat is your point of you, on those basis would give you a benefit of doubt. And as Adi said, it helps build a trust-bond which is impossible to build when unsaid.
Agreed that sometimes just a nod of assurance would do wonders, but not always does that work.

1:32 PM, September 30, 2005  
Blogger Kiran GL said...

I bumped into this quote that I think is germane, "words are the clothes that your thoughts wear"

2:42 PM, September 30, 2005  
Blogger SAL said...

Nice quote buddy

6:29 PM, September 30, 2005  

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