Saturday, March 04, 2006

The bond of Matrimony


The bonds of matrimony are like any other bonds - they mature slowly.

Last month on 10th Feb my parents completed 25years of marriage. Was pulling their leg, how can two unlike people like you two bear each other for about 30 years now? I've seen them smile, seen them frown, seen them bicker, seen them love, seen them be parents, seen them be friends! Marriage is an alliance entered into by my dad who can't sleep with the fan on, and my mom who can't sleep without the fan on... its funny! It's so great to find that one special person you want to annoy for the rest of your life. But I guess it more-or-less worked this way for them: I got gaps; you got gaps; we fill each other's gaps.

Getting married and staying married are two different things. Its said marriage is a sacred institution with its pros and cons; You have to be in it to believe it. Newlyweds become oldyweds, and oldyweds are the reasons that families work.

This wasnt shocking enough, that last sunday I was speaking to my maternal grandparents (Naana-Naani) . It was the holy day of maha-shivratri... and also their marriage anniversary... hold your breath... their 57th marriage anniversary. When my Naana mentioned this, I was speechless for 10 secs. Didnt know how to react, but to be awe-struck :-) All I could say is I'am very happy for you...! May God Bless the union; may you two stay together forever. It really made me wonder, made me ponder. Hats Off to them! Hurrah!

More marriages might survive if the partners realized that sometimes the better comes after the worse. What counts in making a happy marriage is not so much how compatible you are, but how you deal with incompatibility.

A wedding anniversary is the celebration of love, trust, partnership, tolerance and tenacity. The order varies for any given year. ~Paul Sweeney

24 Comments:

Blogger Vivek said...

Even my parents completed their 25th aniversary in Feb. But your naana-nani rock ! .. together for 57 years .. do wish them and tell them and tell them that they are an inspiration for atleast one of your friends ;)

8:30 AM, March 05, 2006  
Blogger SOO-BEER said...

Hey .. even my parents anniversary is on Feb 10 !!! :)

10:36 AM, March 05, 2006  
Blogger SAL said...

@vivek: I did wish ur parents too :) Still congratulate them And yaa... Kudos to my Naan-Naani. I'm sure ur grand-parents must've also completed many years together, its just gr8 that my grandparents remember it :-)

@soo-beer: Thats gr8 coincidence, sahi hai!

11:14 AM, March 05, 2006  
Blogger green-eyed goblin said...

very interteresting......wish u r parents a belated happy anniversary....
Good write up.....makes a lot of sense.....

12:29 PM, March 05, 2006  
Blogger SumEDh said...

my parents completed the 25th anniversary last november. pass on my best wishes to your parents.

its great...and u undestand the importance of it, when u come here and see ppl getting divorced so soon.

liked this line:
"What counts in making a happy marriage is not so much how compatible you are, but how you deal with incompatibility."

1:04 PM, March 05, 2006  
Blogger Rêves said...

u know what line me liked most?
"It's so great to find that one special person you want to annoy for the rest of your life." :)

i think it is very very true...we meet a lot of pple ,whom we have to be nice to...but when we meet one person
whom we can totally annoy and haunt for the rest of our (and his) life...i think we hit a jackpot :)

and here's wishing all of our parents and grand-parents for the beautiful relationship they share together.
years after years....

1:45 PM, March 05, 2006  
Blogger SAL said...

@green eyed goblin: Thanx :)

@Sumedh, @Rêves: Thats how I understand & thus describe marriage, I'm glad u agree too ;)

@Sumedh: Wish ur parents on my behalf too :)

And yaa, Cheers!!! to all those parents who completed 25 years & wishing for their togetherness for the years to come!

5:54 PM, March 05, 2006  
Blogger mtalpz said...

I remember being told this a few yrs ago...its funny but quite true :)
To keep your marriage brimming,
With love in the wedding cup,
Whenever you're wrong, admit it;
Whenever you're right, shut up

Congratulations to all our parents,granpdarents for the wonderful years they have lived together..May there be many more to come :)

9:39 AM, March 06, 2006  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

I guess, credit should go to the tremendous influence that the need for societal acceptability has in India and on Indians. Had it not been for this - so many marriages would not have come unstuck. Examples of successful marriages are just people who have succumbed to this societal pressure.

Of course, given the negativity in my message, I choose to keep my identity anonymous. Yeah, the need for societal acceptability influences me equally!!

1:39 PM, March 06, 2006  
Blogger SAL said...

@mtalpz: A wonderful thought indeed.

@anonymous: Being an Indian, I'm talking from an Indian's point of view. Otherwise also, being wedded is blissful... Its that bond u share, its that feeling one! I guess, u'll have to look at it more optimistically then you might agree to what I say. I respect ur thot though.

2:55 PM, March 06, 2006  
Blogger Aadil said...

hey.. feb seems to be anniversary month then. my parents on feb 20th!
I guess theres a reason behind valentines day then.. springs in the air, love in the heart and all that jazz.

7:18 AM, March 07, 2006  
Blogger SAL said...

@aadil: Looks pretty much like feb's the month wen love blossoms!

11:40 AM, March 07, 2006  
Blogger SumEDh said...

damn...tht means i missed it again. ab ek aur sal (year) rukna padega :)

11:44 AM, March 07, 2006  
Blogger SAL said...

@Sumedh: Oye teri... kaam dhandha nahi hai tujhe. Just posted the comment 2 mins back. Well Feb ka intezaar rahega ;)

11:52 AM, March 07, 2006  
Blogger SumEDh said...

@sal: tht was jus coincidence. i didnt even notice the timestamp on your comment.

dekh ye comment is almost 2 hrs after your comment.

har baat mein thoda late raha hoon...kya pata, mera "feb" shayad "march" mein aaye.

1:48 PM, March 07, 2006  
Blogger SAL said...

hee haw haw... nice one Sumedha ;)

8:31 PM, March 07, 2006  
Blogger Yasser Rahman said...

25 years is a lot..my folks are doing 21 in a few days from now..looking foward to it :)

6:32 AM, March 08, 2006  
Blogger Ameen Budhwani said...

Gr8 Sal yaar...wish ur parents a Happy Belated Anniversary from my side...my parents completed 25 years 3 years back...looking forward to their 50 years Golden Jubilee Anniversary now :)

7:50 AM, March 08, 2006  
Blogger SAL said...

@Yasser Rahman: Yup, its special, I'm sure u've something planned for it

@Ameen Budhwani: Thanx for the wishes... I guess belated wishes to ur parents :)

11:15 AM, March 08, 2006  
Anonymous Nilesh said...

Hi Saloni,

I never ever write for someone who I don't know, so this is a first... Couldn't get to sleep so was just checking my scraps and network on orkut. The 'Lara Croft adventure girl' profile that you have kinda made me click onto your blog's link. That was when the 'Lagna Mangal' caught my eye...

'I got gaps; you got gaps; we fill each other's gaps.' A wonderful thought. But how many people in our day and age are so tolerant? Kudos to your perspective...

-Nilesh

1:24 AM, March 13, 2006  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

great to read ur post. my parents celebrated their silver last dec. me n my eldr bro gifted them a malaysia trip.(my plans, bro's money ;) ). papa says what he is, is bcoz of my mom and mom says what she is, is bcoz of my papa. and thats why i say what I am is only bcoz of them:) from the thought of 'gaps', i could think of lock and key and how it keeps family intact, secure and safe.

thanks for the great thoughts.
amit

11:24 AM, March 13, 2006  
Blogger SAL said...

@Nilesh: 'Lara Croft adventure girl' , I'm laughing! Thanx for dropping by my blog, I'm glad I'm the 1st one :) And ya, thanx for appreciating my thoughts :)

@amit: I like the way ur parents look at it. May these families stay intact forever. Please convey my belated wishes to them.

11:41 AM, March 13, 2006  
Anonymous Nilesh said...

You're welcome. And the 'Lara Croft'comment wasn't meant to be a joke! I'm serious! It's not everyday you come across someone, especially a girl, who is into adrenaline rush sports... In fact, I want to go skydiving (which I read you've done) and none of my buddies are ready. So I try to organize my profs and other TAs to tag along... No success yet. :(

-Nilesh

P.S.: This makes it the second time!

4:25 PM, March 13, 2006  
Blogger SAL said...

March 24th, 2006 (Google's quote of the day)

"I love being married. It's so great to find that one special person you want to annoy for the rest of your life."
- Rita Rudner

Dint know this was a quote ;) May be I read it somewhere b4. But its the statement I love :)

9:29 AM, March 24, 2006  

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