You never considered me as a friend
There were days when we joked around, played around. It all seemed so good & sweet around. We had great times when together. No fear, could be myself. We talked for long, maybe bizarre. The effort to make each others birthdays so special. The meals together memorable and the long drives unforgettable. The compliment you made that day, still brings a smile. It was all green. And your support when it was all blue. Then this ugly thing creeped in, and things changed. It never looked that beautiful again. You seemed to ignore or needed me no more. Sometimes I bless this ugly creep, had it not been there I would have not known the true you. The imperception would've never permitted me to see the other side, the stealthy side. I miss your presence, but somewhere down the line I'm happy. Atleast I dont have to live up with the made up face anymore. It feels so much more comfortable with the mask ripped off. Unhappy about the revelation though, "I was just someone, You never considered me as a friend."
I'm sure you would've picturized someone when you read this. Related each incident with some occurence in your life. Nodded in agreement too.
But you know what they say? You should not let go off your friends so easily. So heres one for you:
When youre down and troubled
And you need a helping hand
And nothing, whoa nothing is going right.
Close your eyes and think of me
And soon I will be there
To brighten up even your darkest nights.
You just call out my name,
And you know whereever I am
Ill come running, oh yeah baby
To see you again.
Winter, spring, summer, or fall,
All you have to do is call
And Ill be there, yeah, yeah, yeah.
Youve got a friend.
If the sky above you
Should turn dark and full of clouds
And that old north wind should begin to blow
Keep your head together and call my name out loud
And soon I will be knocking upon your door.
You just call out my name and you know where ever I am
Ill come running to see you again.
Winter, spring, summer or fall
All you got to do is call
And Ill be there, yeah, yeah, yeah.
Hey, aint it good to know that youve got a friend?
People can be so cold.
Theyll hurt you and desert you.
Well theyll take your soul if you let them.
Oh yeah, but dont you let them.
You just call out my name and you know wherever I am
Ill come running to see you again.
Oh babe, dont you know that,
Winter spring summer or fall,
Hey now, all youve got to do is call.
Lord, Ill be there, yes I will.
Youve got a friend.
Youve got a friend.
Aint it good to know youve got a friend.
Aint it good to know youve got a friend.
Youve got a friend.
~ James Taylor & Carole King
I'm sure you would've picturized someone when you read this. Related each incident with some occurence in your life. Nodded in agreement too.
But you know what they say? You should not let go off your friends so easily. So heres one for you:
posted by SAL at 11/16/2006 08:22:00 PM
10 Comments:
Yes, I nod!...and its more like "Stuff happens, so does the healing"...its the great whole package that one has to live thru in life:)
Like I have quoted once - "bitter truth of life are the ones that distinguish the day from dark, fall from winter; helps us to enjoy the success better, like a person more than oneself!!" :-)
Human mind is a riddle wrapped in a mystery inside an enigma.
Some friends are very special, not because they pretend to like everything about you, maybe not because they are the kindest, most pleasing, most humourous etc etc . Then why are they special ? Is it our conscious decision to call them as our friends! or maybe not ! To answer this intriguing question, I turned to Carl Jung. After going thru his extensive psychoanalytic theory, this is what I figured out; "our emotional experiences and behaviours are driven by the conjunction of our outer reality and the inner reality of the collective unconscious, which is a reservoir of our experiences. And yet we can never be directly conscious of it. It influences all of our experiences and behaviors, most especially the emotional ones, but we only know about it indirectly, by looking at those influences. "
As humans, we developed bigger brains and extensive communication capabilities thru our language. But did you ever realize what we lost during this process of evolution; to understand the mind of another human ! For us, every other human's mind is a riddle wrapped in a mystery inside an enigma. But perhaps there is a key! Talk to your friend. You are not just someone. You are a special friend !
Why do you think of those long drives and amazing times as a sign of friendship? Those were just there when the times were great.
It is the friendships during the darker times that are the ones to be kept, and guarded.
@Bharat: Agreed, shit happens. Also, time is the best healer. With all the goodies comes a lil bitterness too, u gotta live with that.
@Anonymous: There r couple of things here:
a. what makes you think I dint speak to that friend. Despite all the tries when things dont work, its only then that you u think its high time!
b. what makes u think its my story, it could be anyones story. Or maybe I forgot to put a disclaimer there.
c. I'm completely impressed by Carl Jung's words of wisdom. And we also sometimes tned to look from only our perspective, maybe... I dont deny.
@Praveer: Guess you missed out on the line
"And your support when it was all blue."
As they have a saying (in a different context.)
" Ask not what the friend did for you. Ask what you can do for your friend "
@Sal:
a. Did you ever gave a thought why things didn't work. It would be great to have debuggers in real life and we would know where did the things go wrong, and debug them. Unfortunately, we are not machines, just ordinary humans. Humans err ! and only humans can understand that;if they make an attempt to understand, beyond what is visible on surface. Introspect if there's anything you can do.
b. It could be anyone's story, and my comments could be for anyone.
c. Jung's theory, need not necessarily help a person modify their behaviour since most of the behavioural outcome is planned at a subconscious level in mind. Can you guess whats the immidiate next thing you will do in next 5 sec?? But it does help to some extent, in understanding the behaviour of others, and not get upset by misinterpreting and misapprehending our friends.
clearly the gray area in relationships.
Some amount of optimism and compromise would help to move forward (w/o dwelling on the past). Things/ppl change, the undeniable fact of the universe. So, just because your current acquaintance doesn't behave the way (s)he used to doesn't mean they never considered you as a good friend. Priorities change and accordingly the way one sees relationships too. Maybe for the friend, you have changed too in a way not acceptable to him/her.
Understand this and move on. The old friend may not be as close as you might have hoped, but remember the good qualities and never spoil the relationship (hurt them intensionally). Can't be very possessive about friends.
Finally, completely agree with Bharat: Shit happens, clean up the mess and move on.
@Kanan: Thanks Kanu, appreciated.
@Anonymous: Never read (or even heard of) Jung but, will see if I can get my hands on one of his works (hopefully not a tome). You have some interesting opinions, you should start blogging (send me a link if you already have one). Would definitely like to know your given name.
Every person has a dark side, like the moon. We never see this side, but we know it is there and we catch glimpses of it in certain moments and imagine the rest.
Hi,
Its a very nice blog. I came across your space as I was browsing through C2's (Vikas') blog. Keep up the nice writing.
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